Stage 02 · They find you
The stories they use, and the rule you set beforehand
Start here Agree on one person to call first
Before anything is asked for, you are given a part in a story: a grandchild who needs help, a chance to get in early, somebody who treats you as worth talking to. Saying yes to that is not a mistake. It is what a decent person does.
What the scammers are doing
Offering you a part in a story.
Most of the time the story is not a threat. It is a chance to be useful, trusted, early or needed.
Why a scam works here
It uses something good in you.
Every part a scam offers here is a good thing to be, which is why warnings change so little.
What stops a scam here
Something agreed beforehand.
A rule decided in advance, on a calm day, works without anyone becoming suspicious or spotting anything.
Who the scammers invite you to be
Most approaches we have seen offer you one of these parts, often in the first message.
- The helper. A grandchild in trouble, a friend stranded, a disaster appeal. You are the one who steps up.
- The insider. Let in early, given what others do not have. Investment and crypto scams use this one.
- The partner. Someone who finds you interesting and keeps coming back.
- The employee. Work, a task, a purpose.
- The good citizen. Helping the bank catch a dishonest teller, helping with an investigation. The role carries authority, which is what makes it hard to step out of.
- The customer with a problem. Something is wrong with an account, an order, a computer. Sorting it out feels like being on top of things, not like being taken in.
- The lucky one. A prize, a refund, money owed.
What the list is for. The list gives you words for what happened, so you can say it out loud to somebody else. It is not for spotting a scam: several parts are impossible to tell from the real thing.
Nobody agrees to a scam. They agree to a role.
“How could they not see it?” is the wrong question. Nobody was judging whether it was a scam. The choice in front of the person was whether to help a grandson, take a colleague’s advice, or answer someone who seemed glad to hear from them.
In the cases we have seen, kindness is used more than fear.
Scams about an arrest, a tax bill or a locked account happen too, and move fast. The roles that flatter can run for months before money comes up.
People do spot it. They go ahead anyway
The approach that reached you is one that survived. Scammers drop approaches with an obvious giveaway, because those do not work.
The old signs are gone, each in a different way:
- Bad spelling. A message that reads perfectly now costs nothing to produce.
- A sender address that is wrong. It can be one character off, or it can genuinely belong to a friend whose account was taken.
- An accent from somewhere else. Some callers are local, so a familiar accent proves nothing.
- Details only the real bank or person would know. They prove nothing, because the details came out of a breach.
“Trust your instincts” assumes there is a sign to notice. When the instinct does arrive, it arrives after you have taken on the part. Backing out by then means abandoning a grandchild, insulting someone who has been kind for weeks, or walking away from the one chance.
People who notice something is wrong and continue are not being foolish. They are refusing to be the sort of person who hangs up.
The instinct to help is not the defect.
Advice that ends in “trust less” asks someone to become a worse person in order to be a safer one. That advice also fails, because it leaves people on their own, which is what a scammer wants.
What to do, in the order we would start
Everything under Start here is decided in advance, because judgement is at its worst in the moment it is needed.
Start here
Nothing under Start here depends on working out whether a call or message is real.
Agree on one person to call first
What it does. Names one person you call before anything is sent or agreed. The call is not to ask permission. It is a second opinion, arranged before there is anything to be embarrassed about.
Why it works. You no longer have to judge whether the caller is genuine. The rule applies to every caller, so phoning your chosen person never means admitting you were fooled.
Every fast approach depends on there being no gap between the story and the money. One call opens that gap by a few minutes, which is usually enough to think.
Agree the rule both ways, so you are their first call too. Then each of you is treated as a peer, not a patient.
Name a trusted contact person on the accounts
What it does. Puts a name on file that your investment firm may ring if they think you are being exploited, if they cannot reach you, or if they doubt you can decide.
Since when. 31 December 2021. Every registered firm in Canada has had to take reasonable steps to ask for one, each time it collects or updates your account information. Step by step: Name a trusted contact person on the investment accounts.
Why it works. Without a named contact, an advisor uneasy about a transfer can only say something awkward to your face or say nothing. With one, the advisor has someone else to call.
The pause is separate. Your investment firm can also pause a withdrawal, whether or not you have named anybody.
What it does not do. Give that person any authority at all. A trusted contact cannot trade, cannot see balances, cannot move money, and is not a power of attorney.
power of attorney a document that lets somebody else act on your money or your property
You sign it in advance, while you can still make the decision, and you choose how wide it is. What it covers and what it is called differ from one province to the next. It does not hand over ownership.
Naming one is optional, and it is not a step toward being managed. Naming a trusted contact covers only the firm holding the account, not cash once it has been withdrawn.
Look the number up yourself, every time
What to do. Nothing financial happens on the call, the email or the text that came to you. No money sent, no card number read out, no screen shared. If it might be real, you find the number yourself:
- The back of your bank card, or your last statement.
- The bank’s own website, typed into the address bar.
- canada.ca, for anything about tax or benefits.
Not the number in the email, not the one the caller reads out, not the link, and not the first result in a search, because those places can be bought.
Then you call and ask about whatever the message said. You no longer have to decide whether the person is honest, only whether they came to you or you went to them.
The sentence to have ready. “I don’t do anything financial on a call I didn’t make. I’ll look the number up myself and call.” It ends the call without an argument and gives them no chance to offer you a number.
What it does not do. Help with someone at your door, or with someone you have been talking to for months, who will give you a number that really does reach them. For that, read Why they pass every check, and the one thing they cannot fake.
Worth doing
Habits rather than settings.
Say what happened out loud to one person, the same day
What it does. This habit covers what never gets near money: the call that came to nothing, the email you deleted, the message you were not quite sure about.
Why saying it early helps. A scammer finds a story easier to keep going when nobody else has heard it. Telling someone the same day, before there is any loss to admit, takes that advantage away.
Keep it ordinary. Not “report it”. Mention it, the way anyone mentions an odd call or a strange email.
Ask about the person, not the scam
What it does. “Has anyone new been in touch?” gets an answer. “Are you being scammed?” gets a defensive one, and closes the subject for months.
Often suggested, does less than you would think
Written for an older kind of scam, and still repeated.
Lists of red flags
Poor spelling, odd phrasing and a story that does not add up were each a real sign once, and scammers have fixed each one. A list of them mostly teaches people to relax when none are showing.
“Never trust anyone who contacts you first”
The rule is too broad to live by, so it is abandoned within a week. It also misses messages that really do come from a friend’s account, because the account was taken.
Telling someone outright that they are being scammed
From the cases we have seen, being told outright works less often than families expect, even when a police officer says it. A warning helps more when it comes early, from someone trusted, and lets the person step back without admitting anything.
Report a scam attempt, even when nothing was lost
The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre takes reports of attempts. Its number is under Someone tried to scam you, and you didn’t lose anything.
the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre where scams get reported nationally, which is not the same as being investigated
It gathers reports from across the country so that patterns can be seen. Your own case belongs to the local police force, and the Centre does not work it. It cannot move money either.
To arrange a talk about fraud for a group, ask at your library’s front desk, or ask your local police non-emergency line for a community officer.
Arrange the talk for the whole group, not for one person. Nobody wants to be seen attending alone.