Real stories

When someone close is taking the money

Not every scam is a stranger. Sometimes it is a helper, a friend or a member of the family, with a bank card or a power of attorney. Under each story: where it could have been stopped, and how.

How these scams work

The same steps, every time

Each step is what the person taking the money does, then what stops it at that step. The numbers in the stories match these steps.

Stage01 Someone offers to help. What stops it Agreeing, while things are calm, who will help with money, and how. Read more
Stage02 Trust, built over years, or there all along. What stops it Two people with access, not one, so each can see the other’s work. Read more
Stage03 Family, a long friendship, a caregiver’s role. What stops it Writing down what a helper may and may not do with the money. Read more
Stage04 A bank card, a signature, a power of attorney. What stops it A power of attorney that names a second person to check the accounts. Read more
Stage05 Withdrawals, cheques and purchases, a little at a time. What stops it Statements sent to a second person as well. Read more
Stage06 More access, and nobody else allowed to look. What stops it Treating “nobody else can look” as the thing you tell somebody. Read more
Stage07 Notes, a balance that does not add up, and silence. What stops it Telling the bank and the police, and asking who else can look. Read more

power of attorney a document that lets somebody else act on your money or your property

You sign it in advance, while you can still make the decision, and you choose how wide it is. What it covers and what it is called differ from one province to the next. It does not hand over ownership.

Harbour Grace, Newfoundland and Labrador · August 2022

She sold her home to her daughter for $1, in exchange for care

Lost $16,873

After her husband died, Lillian asked her daughter and son-in-law to move home from Nova Scotia and look after her. In 2015 she sold them her house for $1. She lived upstairs; they lived in the basement apartment.

She let them use her bank card for her medication and groceries. There was no written agreement. In 2019, while she was in hospital, her son Paul checked her account for her. The balance was $563.

“My life was stolen from me. If you can’t trust your own daughter, who can you trust?”
Lillian, 80

Paul found cash withdrawals and purchases made while she was in hospital, and a line of credit in her name, $3,000 over its limit. The couple pleaded guilty to theft. The court put her loss at $16,873. She now shares a room in a retirement home.

CBC News, 24 August 2022. “‘Who can you trust?’”

a trusted contact person a name on an investment account that the firm is allowed to telephone

It hands over no power at all: a trusted contact cannot trade, cannot see balances and cannot move money. The firm decides whether to call, and it may only call if a name and a written consent are already on file. This is not a power of attorney.

Step by step, and what stops each one

Stage 01

Family moved home to care for her.

What stops it here

Care and money can be kept apart. Agree, while things are calm, who helps with the bank, and that a second person sees the statements.

More about stage 01
Stage 04

Her bank card, for groceries and medication, and no written agreement.

What stops it here

Write down what a card is for, and what it is not for. It is fairer to the helper as well as to you.

More about stage 04
Stage 05

Cash withdrawals and purchases during her hospital stay.

What stops it here

A second person reading the statements, a son or a friend, would have spotted that spending in the month it happened.

More about stage 05
Stage 06

A line of credit she agreed to, used for more.

What stops it here

Ask the bank to record a trusted contact person, someone it can call when an account starts to look wrong.

More about stage 06
It stopped here

Stage 07

Her son checked the balance: $563.

She asked her son to check her account.

What stops it here

Paul checked because she asked him to. Asking someone to look at your account accuses nobody; make it a habit.

More about stage 07

Toronto · March 2020

Notes in her wallet: someone had her bank cards and would not give them back

$78,000 taken

Christine, 94, was a widow and a veteran of the Second World War, in the early stages of dementia. A woman she had worked with at a bank decades earlier offered to help with groceries and outings. Christine gave her power of attorney.

The woman moved Christine into a residence. When a lifelong friend, Nancy, suggested adding a second person to the power of attorney to watch the accounts, the woman refused.

“She had left breadcrumbs for me to find.”
Nancy, Christine’s friend

Nancy found a note in Christine’s wallet, where her bank card should have been, then dozens more in her room: the woman had her cards and would not give them back. Three cheques had taken $78,000. Serious charges were dropped when the woman agreed to repay $20,000, admitting nothing.

CBC News, 3 March 2020. “Woman with power of attorney takes thousands from 97-year-old with dementia”

Step by step, and what stops each one

Stage 01

Someone she had worked with long ago, offering to help.

What stops it here

Help that arrives as memory starts to slip deserves a second pair of eyes. Welcome the help, and keep a second person watching the money.

More about stage 01
Stage 04

A power of attorney, given to someone she was not close to.

What stops it here

A power of attorney can name two people, or require one to report to another. Set that up while you can still choose.

More about stage 04
Stage 05

Three cheques, $78,000, in about two months.

What stops it here

When the bank also mails the statements to someone other than the helper, a large cheque is seen the month it clears.

More about stage 05
Could have stopped here

Stage 06

A friend asked for someone else to share the role. The answer was no.

A second attorney to watch the accounts: asked for here, and refused.

What stops it here

A helper who refuses to let anyone else look is the warning. Tell the bank, and ask what it can do.

More about stage 06
Stage 07

Notes in her wallet and her room.

What stops it here

Christine wrote it down because she could not tell anyone who would act. If you find notes like these, take them to the bank and the police.

More about stage 07

Do this beforehand

Both of these were found by a second person looking at the money.

Lillian’s son checked her balance; Christine’s friend found her notes. Set up a second person now, while things are calm: on the statements, on the power of attorney, or as the bank’s contact.

Getting readyWhat to set up with a parent while things are calm.How the money leavesAnd the last person who can stop it.More real storiesOther kinds of scam, each told the same way.